Wow,what beauties,right? Well, would you have guessed they were once men?

*Picture 1:Ochee; Picture 2:Dapo

Recently, the President of the United States of America,Barrack Obama made public his support for gay marriage. His public approval went viral and became international news. This act brought again to the frontburners the never-ending debate on what should be considered as the appropriate sexual identity and orientation of man. Was ‘man’ created as just male and female? Or do we have a specie of human race that is a mixture of both? How about our sexual orientation? Was man made for woman and vice versa alone?
In a bid to respond to these happenings, the world has gone back to religion – as always! We now have two schools of thoughts;one in support and the other,against. The interesting thing is both have used the Bible to support their views!
I won’t be writing about homosexuality (that’s a write up for another time). Instead, i will be looking at the other aspect of this debate: sexual identity. It is no longer news that some people who were born one sex have altered their hormonal and physical make-up for the other. We now have women who were once men and vice versa. I happen to recently come across a story of a woman who was once a man – Miss Sahhara (Pic 1 above). S(he) was known as Oche and used to live in Abuja before s(he) travelled out and had the transgender surgeries. S(he) is now a model and has competed in several beauty pageantries. This is not an altogether unfamiliar story as we must have come across happenings like this in the past. What provoked this write up was the divergent views I read from commentators on this development. While some couldn’t care less about what another does with his body, others strongly maintain that the scriptures is against this. Here are some views I got:

A reader on Linda Ikeji’s blog identified as ‘funmioyaide’ said “To each his own!Who are we to judge? He without sin,please cast the first stone!” The reader was obviously upset at the ‘negative’ comments from people against the transformation of “Oche”. Another reader who decided to rather remain anonymous said “Please you guys should stop being judgemental. She is beautiful. Actually, gorgeous is the word and it’s not her fault she was probably born an haemarphrodite.” The reader went further to being philosophical.
“Moreover, she has made the best use of what
she had . Now instead of judging her, think
about what you have been given and probably
try to make the best use of it just as she
has, let her inspire you.”

Lending support to this commentator, another reader who decided to remain anonymous wrote “We will never understand why people
change their sex just like how we would
never understand why people are
attracted to the same sex. I do not
judge them anymore because I think it
is so stupid to do so. Nobody should bring up the bible (and) say homosexuality is a sin because a lot of us are fornicating,taking people’s husbands, stealing, killing, and so on.
The bible lists all of these as sins in
God’ eyes so we cannot point our
fingers at people for sinning against
God when we are engaging in other
sinful acts.”

Another reader,who gave her name as
“Sasha Fierce!” wrote,”People should learn to mind their business.Well done Oche.You look
amazing and fabulous.While haters are
busy hating, you are busy breaking
barriers.Well done sweetheart.”

In the face of this overwhelming support for ‘transgendered’ people, oppositions have stood their ground on the Bible recommendation of what should be considered right.
A reader who identified himself as “devour” wrote “I guess that means God made a mistake
in creating him, abii ? Lets stop this
westernised views, biko umu nne m !” On a lighter note, he advised “And guys please make sure you see baby pictures and
birth certificate of your babe before you marry because the way am looking at this joker,there are
many of them out there.” Another reader wrote “God made him a
man. If He wanted him to be a woman He
would have made him as such. I just find
it disgusting that Western influences are
beginning to eat up the fabric of our
culture which forbids this act. I know
you (people) want us to be modern thinking but
he (Oche) can never be a woman. To be a woman
doesn’t mean to just look like one and paste
fake boobs on yourself. Not until they
can change their xy chromosomes to xx
i refuse to see them as women.”

This story (Oche’s transformation) was also posted on another website, Nigerian Eye and one commentator wrote “This is wonderful. What else are we talking about? One day we all shall wake up and be told to go to Spain to have a duplicate of our life. People (are) abusing and dictating to God what He should have done by making themselves this form. Is this not (a) sign of foolishness? Think well before you ask people to accept them. It’s
actually ridiculous and totally
unacceptable in our society. Nonsense!!!!!!”
Another who decided to remain anonymous also wrote, “A few years ago, homosexuality was an
abomination. Now it has become
acceptable. Soon it will become legal. I’m
running out of this country before it
becomes mandatory!”

One reader who gave her name as “Chichiluv” chose to rather reflect on the parents of a child with sexual identity disorder.
“I feel for his parents. (It must be) truly sad for them. May God help his/her parents get over this…”

Personally, I believe God created man and woman in His image. This is encapsulated in the book of Genesis. He wanted man to remain man and woman to remain woman that was why He had to create a woman out of man’s ribs. God also commissioned them to go into the world and multiply (procreate). He wanted a man and a woman to do this, and not a man and a man-turned-woman or vice versa. The Bible also tells us that God saw His creations AND THEY WERE GOOD!
Granted, the Bible did not make use of the word “transgender” in any part but there are numerous verses in the Scripture which forbids the act.
One of such is in Romans 1:26-27,where the Bible frowns at how man gave in to vile affections and turned into natural use that which is against nature.

In the light of the following, I ask a very serious question: What would you do if you discovered that your child is either gay/lesbian or wants to have a transgender surgery (when (s)he comes off age)? Stretching it further, as a reader noticed, what would you do if you discovered that your partner was actually of the opposite sex at birth?


Today has been a highly anticipated one for me. First off, since sunday evening i have been counting every second, calculating how long it would take for friday to come by again. Everyone does so – workers, students, party-goers….even miscreants! Yes, both the good and the bad(how i pray the good Lord touch their hearts) of the society look forward to another weekend.

Yours faithfully has been looking forward to this day for two reasons. First, i get to start preparing for a weekend from the office (*****stretches and screams “yayyyyyy!!!” ******). Second, i get to have the world’s most anticipated date ever!(Please don’t ask for details). As i write, am already living my expectations. Okay, expectation two has been experienced and it was fantastic. Expectation one is still underway. Currently, am hanging out with friends at the Ikeja shopping mall….. My friends are taunting me to drop my gadget and partake in the already served chicken and chips with chilled pepsi (how many times will i take that today? Oh, i didn’t tell you – that’s what i had on my date).

Alright fellas, gat to go…. ‘Savour’ the aroma some pix below have to offer….. Ciao!


It was almost three a.m and the vigil was getting thicker. The guest prophet, a smallish man on cheap suit had been on for about four hours now. His suit was drenched in sweat capable of quenching a storey building on fire, if squeezed. He had been performing signs and wonders all the while, telling people their problems and which way the heavens wanted them to go about solving them. I have been a spectator for a larger part of the service. It’s not that I was not moved by all he had done. Who wouldn’t be? The man was pulling some pretty stunts out there. Earlier in the service, he had brought out three brothers (the oldest couldn’t be more than eleven years old) and revealed they all were little wizards who tormented the businesses of their parents. Their parents, quite surprisingly, looked on with satisfaction. Maybe they had also suspected their kids of foul play. The boys later confessed and agreed that they were, but not after the prophet made them drink twelve bottles of GOYA olive oil (really? It looked more of groundnut oil from where I sat) each, and threatened he would make them drink much more if they continued denying the ‘truth’. The crowd applauded. Later, the prophet brought out a woman and revealed that the reason she couldn’t conceive in her marriage was because somebody – maybe a woman in her compound, didn’t like her face.
“I know the woman, Prophet,” the woman had eagerly concurred before the prophet could move on to his next words.
“Rejoice, oh daughter of Zion, for Heaven has smiled on you this day,” the delighted prophet said.
He prophesied the Hosts of Heaven would release her womb to her. “But you will have to register your name first on heaven’s roll. I can see on Heaven’s Miracle List a lot of names. Your name is nowhere to be found…”
The woman looked sad.
“But,” the prophet quickly added. “You can provoke heaven to attend to your case by making a sacrifice like never before.”
The woman promised to triple her tithe…
Moving on, the prophet picked out two people from the choir stand – a man, who should be in his mid-thirties and a girl who should be in her mid-twenties. He revealed they were solving ‘bedimathics’…
So, you see, the vigil had been interesting all along. But my mind was set on something far away from where I was. I should be happy, but I wasn’t. My birthday was the next day, and I was expecting a very full house of friends, but I had no money! All my friends knew my birthday and had called me earlier to say they were coming over to ‘share in my joy’ and what was I to do? Tell them to stay clear because I had no money? No way! So I decided to meet Bamiloye, a colleague, to borrow some cash. But by the time I got to Bami’s house, he was already dressed up for this vigil. Before I could make my request, he asked me to join him to the prayer house. And what was I to say again?
“Err…sorry Bee, I can’t come. I just wanted to borrow som-some money from you…”
That wouldn’t sound courteous enough for a person who needed help. I had to thread softly. And that’s what I was still doing. Once the vigil was over, I would make my request.
As I thought of how best to make my request, I heard a loud voice directed at me.
“Oh Son of Zion, come out!” The scrawny index finger of the prophet pointed at me.
Oh noo nooo, this can’t be happening.Daddy Jesus, please not today, I thought.
Before I knew what had hit me, two ushers pulled me out of my seat and took me to the front of the church where the prophet awaited me. The crowd applauded.
“Why do you have a heavy heart my son when you are in your father’s house?” the prophet said, looking at me in the eyes.
I didn’t know if that was rhetorical or if it demanded an answer. I looked on, confused and fidgeting.
“But rejoice, for the host of heaven have located you this day! That which you seek, you shall get it!”
Really? I didn’t know if I should smile, laugh or hug the man of God. Really? God is going to give me money? How? Most importantly, when?
“Today, you shall receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit,” the prophet said.
Wait…Baptism of what?
“Spread out your hands!” he barked.
I reluctantly obeyed.
“Thank you Holy Spirit,” he said and blew some air in my face. “Receive it!”
Gosh! The smell alone could melt mountains. I wiped my face, standing still. The prophet blew another doze of hot air, spittle coming along with it. I still stood fixed to the ground. He did it again and again. Nothing happened.
“Ohhh,” he said to the hearing of the crowd. “This brother is possessed with a familiar spirit.”
Wait, prophet. Me? Possessed with what?
And that was it, I knew I couldn’t take it anymore.
As he blew another doze, I erupted. My hands flew in different directions, my body swaying dangerously.
“Yes, the spirit is moving,” I heard him say.
If only he knew…
I spun and spun and kept on spinning. Nothing could hold me back. I left the stage and spun into the crowd. Everyone stood up from their seats and made way. I deliberately crashed onto the chairs, stood up, held my head like something had got into it, and kept on twisting like a tornado. I jumped, landed on the floor (ouch!) and rolled all over it. I kicked bags, water bottles, jotters and anything that came in my way, including humans. I spotted the prophet with one eye. He looked lost and confused. I continued the ferocious baptism for another fifteen minutes. The ushers couldn’t keep me still, not after I poked one in the eyes. I continued the nuisance for another ten minutes, and then lay still. I spotted the prophet wiping his face which streamed with oceans of sweat.
And that was how the service came to a close. The General Overseer of the church wouldn’t allow for any more miracles. Who knows? The next person may be more vicious – or worse.

*This story has been published in DEGREE360 MAGAZINE and on www.naijastories.com (under †ђξ pen-name double-oh-7) by Yours Faithfully.


I came across some pictures on Olufamous’ blog and they immediately caught my fancy. My crazy curious mind started playing the trick. I started hearing voices telling me to weave a story around the pictures. The above titles came to mind. Now, am in a crossfire as regards which story to start first. As i mull over what shape my characters would take, savour the curiosity this pics provoke.

NOTE: I may end up not writing any story after all…. That’s the beauty of a curious mind. They never lack muses….


They say life begins at forty. But mine was officially over by then. My name is Osaro Oghenekevbe. I used to be the campus dude who knew what’s up during my hay days – my nicky “Double O” could attest to that. I could tell the taste of a woman from the curl of her lips, or the colour of her lipstick. I knew how to turn every girl on – until I met my wife. If someone had actually told me I would get married in this life, I would have wished to swallow a bag of nails instead. But here I am, married to the woman of my nightmare – Ogene. Actually, I wouldn’t really say I married her. My mom did – when I turned forty and she felt my life was heading for the doldrums. Not only was Ogene a minus facially, she was too local to be my wife. I mean a girl from the village? The gods forbid! And not only was she also short, she was actually a midget! I thought they said thunder never struck at the same place twice. But with Ogene, it struck more than thrice. She was just bad luck, and the cause of my present predicament. I married her because my mom threatened if I didn’t, she would beat her flaccid breasts for me.

We have been married for about twenty-five years now – or thereabout. I can’t really figure our anniversary date. You wouldn’t if you were in my shoes. So you can guess my age. Yes, late sixties. Our first night together was a total disaster! One look at her nakedness and I lost my libido – FOREVER! Come on, don’t laugh. I mean it. Can you imagine making love to a midget? Ah-ha! My man became like my aged mothers breast, forever. So, for like twenty-five years, I didn’t know what it felt like to have s…

My doctors have recommended a whole lot of bullshit. Forgive my language. (It’s only an expression of my agitation.) To get my grooves back on since I turned forty, I have done things real sane people wouldn’t. I have been on therapy, gone to the church, mosque and recently, the herbalists. I have drunk concoctions in the name of natural herbs and I have starved myself to death-points in the name of dry fasts!

Today, all that is about to become history. A friend just recommended a rare treatment – a visit to a call-girl. I throttle into the brothel on three feet with a paper in hand. It was my ticket to youthfulness. Written on the paper is the name of my mistress – Ibukun. I ask everyone I see for her room and they direct me further. The hall smells of burnt tobacco and strong ale. Screams of ecstasy and mortal fulfilments ooze out of the dark, filthy rooms by my side. The sully hallway, with paraphernalia ranging from pails with dirty water to shoes of both hosts and clients, looks like a coven. Clients stand by doors waiting for their turns. The red-yellow bulb above my head blinks erratically.

I finally get to my room. Luckily for me, there is no client waiting. My aged hand shakes uncontrollably as I knock on the door. An angelic voice invites me in. I brush my hair (if only I still have a strand on) with my rough palm, dust my shirt and move into the dark room.

“Undress and close your eyes,” the sweet voice commands in the dark.

Excitedly, I obey. My imagination grows wild. I expect my miracle.

“But wait,” I say. “I like to do it with the lights on.”

“No problem, papa,” Ibukun says as she saunters to the switchboard.

*Click***Click** The lights go on as I open my eyes to see my saviour. And what?!! Standing before me is who? Ogene?!!! My Ogene?!! What? How? What prank is this? My midget wife on G-string? In a brothel?

Another look at her thick, muscular nakedness, my heart takes a long pause…and restarts. And I know I am going to have a cardiac arrest!!!

*Story already published in DEGREE360 MAGAZINE and on www.naijastories.com (under †ђξ pen-name double-oh-7) by Yours Faithfully.


Someone once said that “God couldn’t be everywhere so He created mothers.” Well,wether you agree with that assertion or not is a matter of how you interprete the phrase. Suffice it to say that though the phrase is just an expression,it bears a lot of weight.

It’s that time of the year again when we celebrate God’s most perfect creature. Mother’s day is tomorrow. I know you may have been wondering what would be the best gift for your mom. As much as ‘wowing’ her with the biggest treat(hosting an elaborate party for her,taking her on a trip out of the country, getting her an expensive item etc) is not out of place,sometimes little things matter the most. Without much ado,here are the five little things I think every mother will really appreciate.

1.Wake her up with a very big hug in the morning.
2. Give her a kiss and recite the big words “I love you,Ma” (replace the ‘Ma’ with a ‘pet-name’ you address her by. I call my mom “Sweet Sixteen” *****wide grin*****).
3. Prepare a special breakfast just for her.
4.Give her a letter. Tell her all the loveliest things you have never said to her before.
5. Make her a customized/personalized Mothers’ Day card. Encapsulated in the card should be a lovely poem.

****Let me dare add a sixth. If you have got sibblings,get each and every one of them to do the above as well. This will really really wow your Ma.
As an addendum, this is a plea to all wife or mother-beaters. Yes, don’t think it strange to hear of mother-beaters. If you have ever raised your hand on your Ma EVER, use tomorrow to ask for her forgiveness and turn a new leaf. Also,if your Ma has ever ‘beat her breast’ for you, seek her forgiveness ASAP! Furthermore, if you’ve ever made your Ma cry or lament, follow suit. Are you also always involved in an altercation with your Ma? Change! There are many things a woman(Moms) can take; hearbreak from their OWN children is not one of them! Don’t break the heart of your Ma.
Finally, to all mothers out there,happy mothers day in advance. God bless you and keep you. You shall all enjoy the joys of motherhood from your children, and your children’s children, and your children children’s children,and your………..

⌣┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥·̵̭̌✽̤̥̈̊·̵̭̌ Ha̶̲̥̅я̩̥̊☺ldЙh☺✽̤̥̈̊‎·̵̭̌·̵̭̌»̶⌣™



As reported by Double Oh Seven
Senior Correspondent (Koko Newspaper)

Recently, a video flick was posted by a thirteen-year old Israeli boy on YouTube. The flick is claimed to be the video of the much anticipated birth of The Messiah in a manger as prophesied by the Jewish Prophets of about six thousand years ago. If this video is anything to go by, then faithful of the Jewish sect – The Brethren (which presently is almost in every country of the world) are in for happy times as this, they believe will shut their doubters. However, when confronted with the said birth of the messiah, the Secretary to the President of the United States on Foreign Affairs, Ms. Hilary Lipton retorted, “Listen to yourself. How can the Messiah be born in a manger of all places? For crying out loud, this (America) is God’s own country! Where else would God choose to drop his son than here?” When asked by pressmen if the United States Government was not concerned the Israelis may recruit the boy into their military as the prophets of old prophesied he would be capable of many things ( like making a nuclear weapon?), the Secretary replied, “If the story of the boy’s birth is true…. then the U.S definitely won’t sit back. Yes, we are concerned. Umm, all I can say now is that we’ve got the best scientists in the world, so we will really consider cloning our own messiah. What can’t our scientists do?”

Meanwhile, members of the religious Jewish Sect in the West African country of Nigeria are in a mood of frenzy about the news. The President, Goodluck Nathaniel is a senior member of the sect. Just last week, he appeared on the American T.V Station, Cable News Network (CNN) declaring that the self-acclaimed ‘Giant of Africa’ is considering making the baby a crib for a present. Hear him, “It is not going to be just any crib. It is going to be the world’s biggest crib. The Ministry of Interior Decoration have contacted some of the world’s finest construction firms and we are going to make a crib as big as the World Trade Centre of blessed Memory.” This news is coming on the heels of the country’s failed attempt to make the world’s biggest cake at its fiftieth Anniversary, but the President is not perturbed. “We know we made a mistake, but this time, we shall get it right!” he enthused.

The President isn’t the only one planning to welcome the Messiah. All around the Western African country, posters, fliers and billboards have been circulated and erected with the inscription, “Bomboi Jesu…9ja loves you!” The President’s wife is reported to be organising a high delegation of women groups to visit the child, all dressed in customised Ankara with the inscription, “Messiah, 9ja’s first Lady loves you. Na U b d Koko!” In the Neighbouring country of Ghana, President Jacob Zuma-Rock has hinted what should be expected of them. “We are sending the boy and his mother five hundred million cedis (C500,000,000). I mean FIVE HUNDRED MILLION CEDIS.” Some few years back, that amount would be five hundred naira (N500), Nigerian currency.

Citizens of Britain are not taking reports of the birth of The Messiah in Israel likely. Some don’t even believe it’s true. “How can it be?” a Londoner replied when faced with the issue. “The prophets of old claimed The Messiah will be from the house of David, right? But the only David who is making the waves right now is David Beckham but Becks says there has been no new born in his lineage. Or could the prophets have meant David Luiz of Chelsea instead?”

In Russia, the story is spreading like wild fire. Usmarov, the world’s richest man was featured in this month’s issue of Forbes Magazine. The multi-billion dollar rich oil mogul revealed he is aware of the birth. “I have heard of it,” he said in an Exclusive interview. “And I think its great news for the world. I mean, we have waited for it for like how long? – Six thousand years? Geez, that’s like forever! I am just happy it is happening during my time. I could invest in that area, who knows?” The wealthy billionaire however, didn’t reveal how he intends to invest in the boy’s birth. “It is top business secret,” he said.

The Entertainment world is not unaware of the hype. Top Hollywood celebrities, Brat Pit and Angel Jolie are conspiring to adopt the baby. “The world knows how much we love babies,” Jolie said in a press briefing before boarding a plane for Israel. “But this is not just about adopting another baby. This baby was born in the most unpleasant of places and circumstances. A manger? How is the mother fairing? So you see, We are not just going to adopt another baby. We are going to save a life, to help a family in need and above all, to save the world.”

Hollywood award-winning director, James Cameronia revealed he is really considering doing a movie on the birth of the boy. “Only this time, he will not be born in a manger,” he said on channel E! “No one will buy such movie. You know, people want action. In my movie, he will be born in a casino…We are considering casting Matt Daemon as his father and Halle Berry as his mom…..Umm, don’t let me tell you the movie even before it goes on set. Just hold your breath. You will love it.”

Back in the West African country of Nigeria, some Nollywood producers are having the same idea. One of them, Fred Atama tells us a little bit of what to expect. “I think we will either use Aki or Pawpaw to play the part of the baby Messiah. Those boys are a bundle of talent and either of them will play the role just fine.”

*Story already published in DEGREE360 MAGAZINE and on www.naijastories.com (under †ђξ pen-name double-oh-7) by Yours Faithfully.


If you don’t want to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, make sure you had slept on the right side of it the night before – the very right side.
Harold Benson

What is the worst thing that could happen to a man? Losing a mega contract? Getting ditched on the eve of your wedding? Being caught in the act?
I think the worst thing that could happen to a man is going to sleep, on the wrong side of the bed. Relax. Don’t get me wrong. Any of the above would pass. But to put things in perspective, if you go to bed with any of them in mind, you definitely would be going to sleep, on the wrong side of the bed. And when you wake up the next day – anything you do, touch or say would be a mess, because you definitely would be waking up on the wrong side of the bed as well.
I recently happened to find myself in that annoying spot – going to bed on the wrong side of it. The night in question was supposed to be a unique one. Sandra, a girl i had been wooing for some time had just got into town and i was determined to give her a treat. The treat – i gave her; i took her shopping; and then we went to the beach; we followed that up with having a walk before we finally rounded up the night at the movies. As i drove her home, we talked about stuffs. Well, she did most of the talking – she kept blushing about the movie we had just seen, the clothes and accessories i bought her earlier in the day, my nice heart, how handsome i still looked….blah blah blah. All the while, i waited patiently for her to get to the part where she would give me her decision on my proposal – was she ready to be my boo? She never did.
We got to her parents’ house, alighted from the car and i walked her to the gate. I was determined not to lose two things that same night – her decision and a good night kiss (at least for a job well done – the treat). So i placed one hand on the wall, using the other to stroke her hair.
“So you are not going to even give me a good night kiss?” I said, trying to act cool even though i was desperate for it.
She smiled and pulled my hand away from her hair.
“Dear, you know i…i can’t do that – atleast, not at this stage. I know we are getting too involved by the day, but i still need some time to figure out what we are getting ourselves into,” she said, looking at me with her dreary, innocent eyes.
The atmosphere was becoming tense and i needed to diffuse it.
“I know why you can’t kiss me,” I said.
Surprised, she asked “Why?”
I made for her ear and whispered, “Because your dad is a Pastor?”
She burst out laughing.
“Ah ah, no nah,” she said. “My dad is a Pastor quite alright and yes, he would kill me if he knew a boy brought me home – but no, he is not the reason i won’t kiss you….”
We both laughed at my joke and i kept teasing her – even begging her, hoping she would let her guards down. I really needed that kiss. The teasing and begging continued for another twenty minutes. I had got her in the position i wanted. Her back was against the gate as she faced me; my left hand was on the wall while my right hand continually made for her hair.
I was getting there. She was beginning to trip – even though she claimed she didn’t like what we were about doing. Our lips were getting closer. And then, i heard a clang at the gate as it swung open.
The silhouette of a big man occupied the gate entrance. Sandra immediately swung around.
“Dad?” she gasped.
An avalanche of ice immediately trickled down my spine and my legs started trembling terribly. I searched for composure but lo and behold, it was as far away from me as the heavens is from the earth. My mouth immediately grew dry as i searched for words; my heart pounded like it would tear out.
Then i heard the man bark, “Sandy, whether you kiss him or not is your problem! Just tell this…this…this son of man to get his hands off my intercom! We all have been listening to you two in the parlour! My pastors, elders, deacons, ushers, choristers…everyone! Fulfil your immoral act and make your presence available!”
Without saying a word to me, her dad slammed the gate and stormed away. I stood, deep-rooted to the ground, hoping it would just open and swallow me up. But how impossible – and stupid was my wish! Now, there was no chance I was going to get that kiss anymore and worse still, i may have put the girl i cared about in some deep shit. I knew i was going to bed on the wrong side of it – and i knew the next day would be hell.

*Fiction. Adapted from a joke.