Just imagine a world without pants!!! When I say “pant” I am not referring to trouser. I mean pant in the original sense of the word: undies!!! I think the most underrated body wear in the world is the pant. We all can spend good chunk of cash on shirts, skirts, trousers, necklaces, rings, BRAZILIAN HAIR, but go around with just about any undies. No one really cares about what they wear underneath because it is covered. A guy would rather agree to spend N2,500 on a girl he just met than change his 6-month old undies. A girl would buy Brazilian hair worth about a hundred gees (so I heard) without breaking a sweat, but would engage in a two-hour price bargain for okrika pant under CMS bridge (like seriously!!!!) .
PANT, PANT, PANT: MAN’S BEST FRIEND
To the gents, have you ever tried wearing your trousers without pant(now called boxers ****yawns****)? If you haven’t, I urge you to! Atleast for one day! The experience is fantastic! Imagine having your bell dangle all day long. There is the story of a dude who woke up one morning, threw on his trousers and went to get something in a nearby shop. On his way back, he saw some girls giggling at him. He had thought they were tripping. On getting home, a little boy in his yard informed him there was a snake in his groin region. He bent over to take a look, but to his chagrin, his man was hanging out of his zippers.
Pants don’t just help we men keep our “stuff” in check; it gives us confidence. A pantless man is a depressed man.
PANTS OR ROPES?
You know, I haven’t really come to terms with this idea of G-strings. What in the world were they thinking when they created G-strings?!!! I thought the idea behind women wearing pants was to cover up stuffs. But I still can’t understand how G-strings are supposed to help achieve that objective. One word to the ladies: pant is man’s (woman included) best friend. If you want to bring this unique spec into disrepute, you can as well go around with a twine instead! Please don’t insult the pant by naming a rope after it. Please.

A WORD TO SAGISTS
Dear Sagists, pants were meant to be worn underneath something, not on top. If you think your pant is that cool,please you can wear it and it only. Don’t insult the pant by showing a bit of it to the world. It is either you show it all,or you join the rest of the civilised world and don’t show it at all. We already know you are wearing a pant. Thanks.

Let me give you some things to ponder on:
1.When was the last time you changed the department of your wardrobe containing your panties?
2.What’s the most you have ever spent on a pant(boxers,undie,whatever….PANT IS PANT)?
3. Have you ever bought pant as a birthday present for somebody?
4. Have you ever got pant for a present?
5.What’s the dominant colour of your pants?(Should I guess? Definitely not white. And please,am NOT talking from experience. I just know it.)
6.How many pants do you have? (Like seriously,go and count. You may be shocked.)
7. Why do youu wait until your pant has defied “Obioma’s” machine before changing it?
8. How many times should one wear aa pant before changing it? (I know peeps who wear one pant for three days,especially if they just bought it.
9. And last but most important question: why do women wear G-strings?