Recently, something really off-the-hook happened to me. And when I say off-the-hook, I mean OFF-THE-HOOK. I don’t mean cool. It was a Saturday and I was really looking forward to spending it the best way possible. The week days had really been hectic and “down-the-hook.” I needed some fun in my goddamn life! Back in the days, the perfect weekend would be going to the beach, visiting friends and thereafter going to the movies. That was back in the days. Now the perfect weekend formula is:

 

Perfect weekend = Constant power supply + Stay at home + Complete DSTV subscription (alternatively, a DVD collection of the coolest romantic soaps or dramas).

 

Yes, I love love movies. Knock yourself out.

As a kid, I always wondered why my dad had a different interpretation of what the “perfect” weekend should look like. All the ever  did was stay home all weekend and watch WWE or some bible story movie and when I inquired why he never really liked “catching fun”  (going out)he always replied that I would understand when I was old.  Now I understand. And am not yet old. Am just grown up.

 On this faithful weekend, there was power supply, but my DSTV subscription had expired + I was out of DVD collections. So I had a feeling my Saturday wouldn’t be perfect after all. A friend who was travelling out of state dropped by, and I decided to see him off to the park where he would board his bus. While I waited for him to purchase his ticket, a hawker of DVDs came walking past. PERFECT! Immediately, I beckoned him to bring his good tidings!

The Hausa dude sauntered over. He downloaded all his collections on me. Unfortunately, they were all either action or documentaries.  Disappointed, I returned his “market.” But the dude wouldn’t give up. He asked what it was I really wanted. I told him I needed drama – drama collections. The dude enthusiastically replied that I could have said that all along. He said he had drama and bent over to bring out ‘drama’ from a bag I hadn’t noticed he was carrying. At this point, my friend had got his ticket and was already boarding. I asked the Hausa dude to select his best drama collections as I went to say goodbye to my friend. The dude smiled and nodded frantically.

By the time I returned, the dude had tons of DVD collections in his hands. He handed them over to me.

As I set my eyes on the first collection, I was shell-shocked. I could swear I stopped breathing for thirty minutes….. Umm, ok maybe not 30 mins, maybe 30 seconds.

Or less.

 Or more.

More or less.

Guess what? The dude had just given me numerous collections of PORN! HARDCORE PORN!

Mad at this, I quickly returned his drama and asked why in the world he would give me porn. The surprised-looking dude said he thought I asked for drama. I nodded. Of course, I asked for drama. Looking confused, the dude replied that if that wasn’t drama enough, he still had more dramas in his bag. I quickly stopped him from reaching for his bag again and asked him to be on his way, that he didn’t have the drama I needed.

This experience reminded me of an episode in my life. I remember as a kid, I never knew what blue film was. I always thought it was a movie with dominant blue colour/effects. Remember back then when we used to use Lucozade orange-colour wrap as colour effect for our black and white TVs? Aha! When I started hearing of blue films, I always thought that there was a new invention in movies that made them blue instead of orange so one wouldn’t need the Lucozade wrap. I always looked forward to seeing a blue film. Thank the good gracious Lord I never asked my dad to buy a blue film. I may not have been alive to tell the tale today.

I had my wish of seeing a blue film when I least expected it. And it came from an unimaginable source.

One fateful day after my parents had both gone out, I was home alone with our house boy. He asked me to go play with the other kids in the compound, but for some reason I refused and insisted I wanted to stay in the room. After much persuasion falling on deaf ears, our house boy agreed – but on one condition: that I don’t tell my parents what I was about to see. I agreed.

He turned on the TV, but lo and behold when he played the VCR/VHS….

I don’t need to paint the picture of what I saw, but one thing I am sure of is that the movie was everything but blue. And that was the first time I saw a porn movie. And I was just 9. And it came from our house help! The images still play in my head till this day, if I let them.

Walk on our streets today, and you would be amazed at the level of moral decadence displayed or exhibited. Porn movies, magazines, books, items are thrown at you with blatant impunity. Our record dealers display all manner of movies in and out of their shops, our artistes sing all manner of songs all in the name of giving the people what they want… So many artistes have switched from gospel/inspirational music to secular music (vulgar music, they mean).

One artiste (name withheld) sometime last year was asked in a twitter conversation by a fan why he didn’t continue with his earlier genre of music (R n B) and he bluntly replied that it’s because he had mouths to feed, and R n B wasn’t doing that for him. The artiste is now into some razz genre called Afro Pop,/dance hall or something that weird.

Obscenity is now the order of the day. We see it everywhere and everyone is guilty. It’s in our music, movies, schools, workplace, in our very thoughts and in the church. A Pastor who either actively or passively encourages indecent dressing isn’t of God. Other members of such church who neither do nor say anything aren’t free of guilt either. We are brothers, sisters, friends to anyone who dresses inappropriately to church and we have a duty to caution them with wisdom.

Obscenity is also in our very thoughts and we hear it proceed from unguarded lips. We also see it in wandering eyes.

The worse hit of all these are the little ones who watch and learn from what we adults do – our kids. They learn all sorts of stuffs from the conversations we create, friends we keep, music we sing or listen to, movies we make or watch etc.

I am sure a lot of us have one story or another about our first experience with obscene materials. I had mine at age 9 and it came from our house help. I got drama even before I knew what it was.