the-proposalI had a BBM conversation yesternight with a female contact of mine whom I have been into for a while now think will make a good writer if she can just drop her ego and pick up her writing pen as I keep persuading her to! We had this unplanned and spontaneous conversation which I think will make Jane Austen turn in her grave with envy. Okay, don’t let me bore you with too much prelude and let’s go straight to business!


Time check: 8:42pm

HAROLD: Hello dear, the one with an infectious smile. I have a confession: do you know you always make me lost for words? I mean, I just can’t fathom how to get you out of my system, hard as I try….. You are soothing syrup to my throbbing heart.

MISS X: I seem to be quite parasitic? Choking and infiltrating your system? Am I a virus? Mr Harold!

HAROLD: A necessary virus. Yes.

MISS X: Oh Harold! You won’t kill me with your words!

HAROLD: Listen dear. My being is a whole picture. But a pixel is missing from the piece. What do you think of replacing the missing pixel? What do you think of fixing me to perfection? Please do tell, I pray thee.

MISS X: I say vanquish all thoughts of me. My dear, they will cause nothing but doom…I’m saddled with so many flaws, I can’t bring you anything but sadness and regret, I can’t be your missing pixel, for your sake and mine, I will consume your soul and leave nothing but an empty shell that will be swallowed by a whirlpool of darkness.

HAROLD: Living in darkness with you is better than existing alone in daylight. Together, we can overcome our darkness. Heck! We can make the light envious of our radiating darkness. Listen to your heart, and not your head. Let this feeling be mutual. Give yourself a chance to experience life from another perspective – the perspective of “us”. I don’t promise that it will be perfect. Life is never perfect. But i promise it shall be beautiful – even with all it’s uncertainties and ugliness. Give yourself a chance to live again.

MISS X: With me you’ll never know happiness; there’ll be no light, not even the slightest glimmer, with me you’ll only know pain, which will never fade, till the end of your existence, and that end will be certain because I am who I am, a silent siren, that will not only entice you but drown you in Poseidon’s sea….Pray thee, vanquish me from thy memory… Heed my warning foolish mortal, do not dream of impossible things…. Why are we even having this conversation?! What will the world think of this?

HAROLD: Nay nay my lady. Let the world cook its thoughts. They may think we are insane,but we know we are insane – insanely in love with the ideas of us together.

For all your promise of pain is worth, it may interest you to know that Cupid’s arrow always had a special touch to its tip – and it always wasn’t a touch of death. I have been prepared for your touch – yea, your touch of pain, for this I know will only consume my being for the better of us both – just like cupid’s arrow. I still stand on my plea, my Lady. Be my Psyche and I, your Cupid.

MISS X: Cupid cannot love; just as I cannot….he may bestow it on others but never himself… This heart of mine shall forever remain immune. Cupid’s bow can never pierce what it will never find; locked away in a silver chained box it shall remain, away from hurt, harm and man. To love is a weakness I cannot allow, a weakness I will not allow…


Time check: 9:53pm

At this juncture, we both cut the crap and said our goodnights because we had to wake up early this morning for work! D*mn the work!

Imagine we were really setting P with each other both meant this conversation (didn’t we?), what chance do you think I really have with a woman this worded and strong-willed? Have you had such an experience? How did you finally break her/his defence?

23 thoughts on “THE PROPOSAL

  1. As in – there’s absolutely NO POINT. What are you trying to achieve?!

    Trust me, she will swallow you up whole like the pit. Read Proverbs.

    In other news…hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

  2. Hian! What doth thou seek with a maiden like this whose tongue is full of sweet tricks? Wouldest though be broken and left abandoned? Never to be coupled well? Pray thee, flee!

  3. I had a special friend once.
    We had a whirlwind affair with our fingers and keypads locked in deep kisses.

    Not everyday you find someone you can share word intimacy with…for me, it is a memory…one this post relived.

  4. Caleb says:

    Its simply amazing what we tend to think we can do for love, but remember my friend that this thing called ‘LOVE’ is usually a mans weakness and strength…It’s like a spell cast upon a man, a paralyzing agent that cripples your thought…it gives a man hope of a better but false future with a strange and epileptic heart that may never be compartible with his!
    I pray thee probe and trod cautiously this part you so deligently seek for your heart may be ripped off and you will be left with nothing but memories of what could have been, a darkness that light would b envious of, a journey that the moon will vehemently refuse to lead the way with his precious lighting…
    This is a whirlwind of LOVE…Its vortex is just waiting to consume you!!!
    After all said and done my friend, you may still ride the storm of LOVE if you so wish!!!*adios*

  5. Nkkoii says:

    Omg!! There is something I call The BiC files…. My most treasured memories!! This place is filled with the best… heart warming, smiling until your cheeks hurt, almost cant breath good feeling. you know, the choking kind!

    I can sooooo relate to this. I was once in love.. probably still am, with this amazing man, need I say so myself. His intellectual capacity.. unrivaled! He wrote… he spoke.. I fell deeper and deeper in love with every conversation, text message, email, written note. Every encounter was magic.

    Needless to say… we have both gone separate ways.. He is married now, with children, I am also engaged to be married in November this year. I believe we are both happy.
    Perhaps we would have been together.. perhaps we would have happened. I am a traditional girl and all I wanted.. Needed, was for him to ‘fight’ for me. Just a little harder… longer.. given me time to find myself as I was quite young, very ambitious and would say and do things concerning us with reckless abandon. there was also a naivety my perception to life and stuff like that.

    You do all you can and if she does not or cannot see how much in love with her you are, then perhaps you should.

    But then again, as with most things, timing is key!! We found ours too early.. So, I have my BiC files.

    …all the best Harold. xo xo

  6. Ifeoma says:

    Hahahaha!!! Both of una no well! Una don chop bellefull, that’s why you both have the brain power to come up with this bbc-documentary-worthy dialogue! I love the way both of u jumped right into it! #SpontaneousWit. You know ba? In all the Jane Austen books, the girl, after playing hard to get, eventually falls for the guy! So just send me the aso ebi, u don marry finish!!!

  7. Beautiful. Really. I also had my share of texting romance. I like how Lelora put it. “Word intimacy.” We both had a way with words. It was beautiful and fun. At some point, we started questioning the reality of what we were doing but sadly, a relationship between us was impossible. I’m grateful I had the experience though. It’s really very rare to find someone you can share word intimacy with u.
    This brought back really wonderful memories for me. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  8. I think she has been hurt, I think she is vulnerable. I think she is scared of loving anyone. You may keep trying but get ready to be hurt. It won’t be a fun ride but who knows you may be able to pull down her walls. She sounds really intelligent and I can imagine you both having lots of fun.

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