Diary of a Jumoke: Episode 3

Hi, everyone.  This is the third episode of the new feature series, Diary of a Jumoke by Abdulwahab Olajumoke. Look out for Episode 4 next week Tuesday. Do give this a read and let me know your thoughts in the comments section.


Rukky was touching up her make up when I got inside. The makeup and accessories didn’t help her situation; she was still looking like a starved person.

Does this girl eat at all? I asked myself as I approached her.

“Jumoke, which levels nah?”

“What’s all this? You were supposed to be here an hour ago!” she said, not giving me a chance to defend myself.

“I am really sorry. Something came up.” I replied.

“No qualms.”

“Let’s go to the dressing room, you need to change your clothes.” She added as she packed her makeup and headed upstairs toward the dressing room.

I was lost for a millisecond. What on earth was wrong with what I was wearing?

The micro mini gown I wore could buy half of her clothes. But as it is, she was the boss at the moment so I had to agree to every idea that came out of her twisted mind.

Few minutes later, we are in the VIP lounge with some top business men in the country. The man I am supposed to hang out with is a multi billionaire who owned the largest telecommunication company in the whole of West Africa.

Rukky had told me about him some weeks back; that he flew into the country about three weeks back and he would be needing a classy girl to keep him company while he was in the country.

Since he was not yet around, I decided to pick a seat in a corner of the lounge. I sat down cocktail in hand while I watched one of the strippers do a pole dance in the middle of the room.

I was still sitting there when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turned around and found this potbellied man smiling at me with an awkward gap tooth. I felt my stomach turned. I silently prayed that was not the person I had been there waiting for.

How was I supposed to endure his clumsy face for two good weeks?

“Omalicha, I am Chief Ogbonna Ike.

“I have been watching you from afar off for quite long.”

“Why are you here sitting all by yourself?” he said with the thickest Igbo accent I have ever heard in my entire life.

My jaws almost dropped. Like we are in the 24th century; do people still talk with Igbo accents?

I heaved a sigh of relieve when I discovered he was not the one I had been waiting for. I gave him a forced smile and decided to string him and see what he could offer. There was no crime in killing two birds with a stone after all.

“My name is Jumoke.” I said extending my hand for a handshake.

But instead of shaking me, he took my hand and gave me a rather unnecessary kiss. I was seriously praying for him not to dribble on my hand.

The width of his gap tooth was really too much to take in. I shifted uneasily in my chair while I fought the urge of snatching my hand from him.

Finally he let go of my hand and sat on the chair next to me.

“This man will crack this chair today!I thought as the little chair creaked under his weight.

“Adaobi, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? he said.

His thick accent was all I could hear. It was like he was speaking in a strange tongue. And it took me some minutes before I could decipher his sentence.

When I finally did, I gave him a genuine smile.

By now I was feeling uneasy. Where the heck was this man I was supposed to meet? Or was Rukky playing games with me?

I really hope that was not the case because I was going to show her madness in 4D if I find out that she had been wasting my time.

And this Chief Ike, or whatever his name was, will not stop engaging me in all kinds of stupid talks.

I mean what was my business with the fact that his eldest son was gay, and he had been trying to fix him up with a woman.

Why was he telling me this?

It was not as if it would put food on my table or add to the money in my account… or even buy me a car.

My mind did a quick flash back to the fact that I had abandoned my Range Rover.

“I really needed a new car ASAP.” I thought.

The man invited me over to his house the next weekend and I agreed in a bid to get rid of him. But he just won’t stop. The good news was that he was super rich. I had not wasted my time after all. His money would do for a while.

My phone vibrated, someone pinged me.

I was super glad that the message was from Rukky.

“Meet me in the parking lot.” her message read.

I was finally going to escape from this talkative of a man. My eardrums would be left at peace for a while.

I told him I was leaving and I promised to honor his invitation as I hurried out of the VIP lounge.

Rukky was standing with a man when I got there. Judging by his looks, he should be in his mid-fifties. He had a mustache that looked as if it was going fall off anytime soon.

His face displayed wealth and a bit of elegance.

“And this is what I’m talking about.” I said to myself.         

“Dr Bassey, this is Jumoke.” Rukky said as I walked towards them.

Once again my Beyonce inspired smile rose from the dead and my accent came out with full force.

“Hi Doctor.” I mouthed.

He smiled revealing a set of white teeth.

“I’ll see you later Rukky.” he said, indirectly telling her that her presence was no longer needed.

 “Now let’s get things started, shall we?” he added.

He extended his hand and gestured for me to move closer.


Abdulwahab Olajumoke is a Mathematics and Statistics student from The Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro who just concluded her National Diploma Program. Her interest lies in reading articles and novels of all kinds which has in turn prompted her to keep pursuing her career in writing.


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