This is the seventh episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s Diary of a Jumoke.

“Musa,where your Oga?” I inquired.

I was at Freddy’s house. I had called him but he refused to pick up. Even his gate man doesn’t seem to know his whereabouts and the silly guy had been calling me all this while. Now that I needed his help, he was nowhere to be found.

The guy’s sugar daddy game was just decreasing bit by bit.

“E be like say Oga Fred talk say him won go pick madam” his gate man said.

“Madam keh? Who is madam?” I asked a bit confused.

Instead of answering, the gate man just shrugged.

I walked towards his front porch. Even if he had gone to the moon, I was going to sit and wait for him.

The previous day had been a hit actually. Mike made reservations at a Chinese restaurant around town and he made sure we ordered almost all the dishes available. It seems he had planned to stuff me with food. We started with the sweet and sour pork and switched to the Gong Bao chicken and then the Mapu tofu to the Wontons.

I couldn’t even pronounce the name of most of the dishes.

By the time we finished eating, I was feeling as if I had swallowed a whale.

That didn’t stop me from showing my gratitude for the gift he had sent to me though. I pounced on him like a tiger the instant we got into his apartment. Dude wasn’t expecting the move.

I undressed him like a pro, blindfolded him and tied his hands to the bed post. Oga Spartacus was chanting “Ohhhhlaaahlahhh” all through the show down. I showed him the real definition of freaky.

I won’t be here waiting for Freddy if not for the call I received from my mother. She called to inform me of her plan to leave with Arianna later in the evening.

I was surprised when she didn’t ask where I was. Shade must have covered me up. That girl was bae.

I was feeling a bit bad because they were leaving so soon. I could not even spend quality time with my daughter and now that I don’t have a car, how was I supposed to take them back home?

Making them take public transport was not even an option. For that reason, I decided to see Freddy. I wanted my car back already.

I had been sitting in his porch for like two straight hours and just when I was thinking he was never going to show up, his red SUV pulled into the compound.

I didn’t see the woman with him until the car moved closer. Freddy sighted me and I saw the shock that was spreading all over his face.

“What is wrong with this one?” I thought.

The lady with him looked like she was in her late thirties. She was tall, thin and had a model like frame.

She could have passed for Rukky. They were both really thin, except that she was more beautiful. Her cheek bone was on fleek.

And I should also mention that she was a “Latino”.

“This must be the madam Musa was referring to“ I thought.

A small boy about seven years old was also with the pair. He had Freddy’s face written all over him.

Even before being told, I did the math. The Latino must be Freddy’s wife and the Mini-Latino [Half-caste],his son.

To be honest, I didn’t care one bit. I was just his sugar baby after all. All I wanted was my freaking car.

“Hello Jumoke” he said in a shaky voice as he neared me.

The fool just called me Jumoke! What happened to all those pet names?

Oh I forgot, anty-fresh-Puna-Latino was around. Alaye had to act like a gentleman.

Next thing I knew he faced the Lady and said “Neesha, meet my cousin”

“Jumoke, this is Neesha, my wife”

“And Sam my little simba”

 Mayweather’s hammer blow could not have flattened me out like his statement just did. I flashed a cute smile at the lady and she smiled back.

“I’ve been shagging your husband, sister” I thought.

This guy is funny sha. What’s my own with your wife abi the Mufasa son you have?

I was highly irritated.

“Freddy, I need to pick up my car”

“Can you hand over the key” I demanded.

He flashed me a smile full of gratitude. It seemed he wasn’t expecting the calm way I handled the situation. He called Musa to pack some luggage into the house while he led his wife and son in and I waited impatiently outside.

He was back in no time with the key to the Range. He handed the key over to me and to my surprise he also added a cheque of five hundred thousand naira.

I collected the cheque and smiled. I covered the distance between us and gave him a passionate kiss.

“You are not getting off that easily” I said and walked towards the garage to pick my car.

I was actually hoping his wife would catch a view of the kiss.

***

I was home in time to pick up my mum and Ariana. Mike would not be needing my company for a while so I was going to sleep over at my mum’s and then come back home the following day.

I was hoping to spend more time with my daughter. The poor thing doesn’t even know me well enough.

It was late when we arrived at my mum’s and I was too tired to even eat. I just took my bath, engaged my daughter in a conversation for a while and before I knew what was happening I had fallen asleep.

Arianna’s gentle tap was what woke me up the following day.

“Mum, grandma said you should come” she said in a singsong voice.

I rubbed my eyes sleepily, gave her a kiss on the forehead and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I was hearing voices. It seemed some people were in the house.

“Who could be visiting so early in the morning” I thought as I picked my bathrobe and wore it over my pajamas.

I stepped into the living room and I went into a trance. Standing there was Noka and an elderly lady who I presumed was his mum. I was stunned into silence.

After leaving me for six years he just appeared out of nowhere. Am I supposed to run into his waiting hands or what?

I couldn’t move, so I just stood there looking like a dummy. He moved closer to where I was, with an apologetic look on his face.

He tried to touch me. That was when my anger surfaced.

Without thinking I gave him an epic slap and the look on his face was priceless. I was not satisfied so I gave him another resounding one. I felt so pissed that I wished I could knock out his jaw.

Not knowing what else to do, I turned back and made for my room. Arianna was standing right behind me with a white face. I could swear she was terrified. The little thing had just watched me delivered two hot slaps in quick succession to a guy whom she would soon find out was her Dad.

I carried her, wrapped my hands around her with this “if them born you well, come touch am” [if you’ve got the guts, come for her] face and bolted into my room.