This is the eight episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s Diary of a Jumoke. It is quite a short one. Read and let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

I lay sprawled across the bed wearing only a bum short and an alter neck. Arianna was pulling my weave frantically in an effort to style my hair. It was painful, but I allowed her.

The little thing seems to be having fun. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the notification light on my BlackBerry was blinking. I picked it up and saw that a text message had come in.

In my mind I thought it was one of those “If you want to be happy, send 1 to 3205” messages MTN was always sending.

I opened it and saw that it was a credit alert. The amount I saw made me gasp for air. Someone had transferred a whooping sum of 1.5 million naira into my account.

I guessed that was why Mr Ibu (make that Chief Ike) had been calling me nonstop for some hours now. I allowed his calls to ring off the hook. I was not ready to let him engage me in one of his boring tales.

Really, that man can talk for Africa. He promised he would “furnish” my account and he actually “furnished” it to the fullest. He deserved an Oscar.

“Awwwhhhh! Arianna you are going to pull off my scalp. Oya please leave it. Its fine already” I pleaded.

She examined the hair and she seemed pleased with what she had done.

“Lemme go and bring grandma’s mirror” she said in her regular singsong voice and raced out of the room.

I decided to see the mess she left on my head as I fetched my makeup bag and removed a mirror. My reflection made me roar with laughter.

Even the witch of Oz doesn’t have a thing on me.

I had been very close to my daughter these few hours after Noka’s resurfacing from God-knows-where. When I saw him earlier, I felt thousands of unexplainable emotions rushing through me.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it would bust open. All this while and I still felt that way for him. I was furious though. I would rather die than allow him back or even allow him touch my child.

My mother instincts had been resurrected.

I was having a strong urge to go clubbing to get his selfish ass off my mind. No sob stories abeg. Hitting Club 44 was the first item on my to do list.

And come to think about it, I had been considering letting Chief Ike into the honeypot too. That was the best way I could appreciate him for his kind “furnishing” gesture.

And there was Dapo again,

“I really still wanna kiss him” I thought with a mischievous smile on my face.

 

***

“Is she asleep?” I whispered silently.

Arianna had been tailing me since forever and I had to wait until she fell asleep before leaving.

I was sure she would cry her eyes out when she wakes up and discovers that I had left.

“Jumoke wa joko” [Jumoke, have a seat]

“We need to talk about something before you leave” my Mum said.

I sighed loudly. This was one of those reasons why I always shy away from visiting her. Her long talks about life and all could squeeze life out of a living person.

I had no choice this time or else I won’t hear the end of the matter.

“That guy I saw with you the other day….“ I didn’t allow her to finish, I knew where the whole issue was going.

“Mummy, Dapo and I barely know each other”

“Please don’t start this marriage talk. Please“ I interrupted.

I knew my mum; she would never back down. She pretended as if she didn’t hear what I just said and continued.

“It doesn’t matter oko mi.”[my dear]

“You people can start from somewhere”

“I can see he is a nice and cultured boy” she continued.

“Okay Mum, I heard you”

I had to agree with her if I wanted the matter to be laid to rest.

And just when I was thinking I had gotten off the hook, she dropped the bombshell.

“I think you should forgive Noka”

“He realized his mistake and came begging”.

I have had enough!

I stood up, picked my bag and gestured that I was ready to go.

Before she could think of composing another speech on how I was supposed to be a responsible woman, I dashed out towards my car and I entered with the speed of light.

“I’ll call you when I get home” I said and zoomed off without waiting for her to reply.

 

*********

“Who is this person that parked in my spot” I yelled angrily to no one in particular.

I arrived at my house and helped myself with the gate only to discover that a black Camry was in my spot and there was no more parking spaces in the compound. I had to leave my car outside.

I rang the doorbell and Shade answered it, only for me to enter the house and find her witch friend Tega sitting on the couch as if she owed the house.

Sitting beside her was Sam, Freddy’s Latino son. The bit*h had brought the child to spite me.

I mouthed an unfriendly hi to her and she reciprocated my unfriendliness by keeping mute.

I’m still gonna bitch slap that silly brat one day.

I dropped my bag and pretended as if I didn’t see the boy.

“Shade, is there food in this house?”

“I am starving” I asked with a yawn.

“Yes babe, check the microwave” she answered.

Without wasting time, I walked briskly to the kitchen to fetch my food.

“Sam really looks like Freddy”

“They have the same nose” Tega said loud enough for me to hear.

“This girl is really foolish” I said to myself.

“His skin is nice too”

 “I hope he doesn’t follow your footstep and bleach in future” I chipped in.

The words hit her like a brick. Bit*h wasn’t expecting it. I gave her an obvious side eye, picked my bag and went straight into my room.

Few minutes later I was dressed in a jumpsuit, ready to hit Club 44. I couldn’t stand the presence of the silly girl for one more minute. She should better be gone when I come back.

 

******

Rukky was in a middle of a lap dance when I got to the club. If I was the man she was entertaining I would be praying fervently that one of her bones should not detach and drill a hole on my face.

I saw a couple of friends and I sat with them, a bottle of booze in hand. I was planning to get high.

I had been dancing for a while and then decided to take a break when I noticed someone was standing behind me.

I turned and there was Noka!!!

There goes my new stalker.