We teach our strong black boys to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to boys, you can be a lover of women, but not too much. You should aim to be handsome, but not too handsome. Otherwise, you would threaten the woman. Because I am male, I am expected to aspire to be the head in a marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that being the head in a marriage is the most important.

Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach boys to aspire to be the head in a marriage and we don’t teach girls the same? We raise boys to see each other as competitors, to always be up and doing in bed, lest we lose our women to other boys. We teach boys that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that girls are.

**Photo credit: Google