Today is Christmas Eve and you know what that means? We are anticipating the D-Day where the world marks the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. Whilst tomorrow would mark the entrance of a special life into this world,  this poem by Tope Olofin is on a dark note and it touches on the loss of a life. I pray for everyone hurting this period from the loss of a loved one that you will find solace in our Lord Jesus. 

Our ritual didn’t involve pecks

Just upkeep for my daily needs

Everyday I would knock

And expect a smile please

Out came a hand, that day

With a bulk load of cash

I didn’t see his face

That’s odd, I hear myself say

Or maybe it’s just a phase

As the day began to age

There was a body crash

No one will tell me why

Into silence door, we saw him dash

But we waited for him to turn the page

Are you scared they asked

For what? I lied

You’ll see him soon, they cried

Only he knew it was a lie

He was getting set to fly

Who is ever ready for the halt?

Even though we are warned to a fault

We miscount for our gain

And probably to foul our fate

Fate’s timing was Christmas 

Sound asleep on the mattress

Dada mustered all the strength

And took his final breath…

You made my hair

You were the only parent that brought fresh lunch at break time

Gosh that made me feel like a superstar

You washed my clothes

You cleaned my room

You spanked me silly, until my skin tore

You handle me like I was male

Yet in your closet you admitted you were a too hard on me

Child abuse some may say

But I was a handful

You called me baby

You called me Sally

You flaunted me

You were proud of me…or so I like to think

But you also embarrassed me

So many people took advantage of that

You taught me to save

You taught me to be a homemaker

You taught me to cook

You taught me to bake

You screamed at me a lot

Again so many people used that to their benefit

You put me in front of my first computer

Do you know that’s what feeds me today

You taught me the essence of hard work

You taught me to own up when wrong

By owning up anytime you were wrong

You taught me boldness in the face of fear

You taught me to speak my mind

You taught me to stand by my decision

You taught to write

You taught me to spell

You taught me to be eloquent

You left when I was timid, shy and a pushover

You should see me now

You may not agree with all that I am

But I can almost bet you will be damn proud

That day, my chi warned me

She said “this might be the last time you see him”

I ignored and ran out of the house 

I wasn’t ready for your signature pep talk.

And that was the last day I saw you

A few days back, I tried to figure out why I hardly sleep at night

Now I realize that a part of me still waits to hear you horn twice.

Because that was my indication that all is well.

I am in search of a fresh indication

That’s why you should leave me to mourn you for today

Leave to cry my heart out

Leave me to mourn like I know how to

I owe you that every December 21st

Because the nagging question still comes to me every night

Will I ever feel safe again?

***

“4 days to Christmas” is written by Tope Olofin,  a close and beloved friend of mine.