Diary of a Jumoke: Episode IX

This is the ninth episode of Abduwahab’s Olajumoke’s “Diary of a Jumoke”. Kindly do give it a read and let me know what you think of it in the comment section below.

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Two weeks passed and my contract with Dr Bassey ended. He traveled out of the country last weekend after depositing a breathtaking amount of money in my bank account.

I mean five million naira for two weeks of being his side chick! If you ask me, I’ll say that’s good business.

Shade’s birthday was coming up soon and I planned a small party for her. It was the least I could do. The lady was like a sister I never had.

My head was all wrapped up in the birthday preparation that I forgot totally about Chief Ike’s invitation. When I remembered, it was way too late and I figured I had to devise a plan to make it up to him.

The day came and we were all prepared for the celebration. Shade had pestered me into inviting Dapo for the party.

She was hoping he would come with one of his friends or he could hook her up with one of his friends. Shade who was notorious for changing boyfriends like clothes told me she was a changed person and was down for love. Well, every girl deserves a second chance.

It was meant to be a small party, but the number of people who turned up was crazy. Even those people we had not invited came. Even Tega too came and she was acting this “goody” too nice girl to me. That girl’s stupidity is just beyond me.

I decided to wear a casual micro mini grown and a leather pam sleep on. I packed my braids in a ponytail and as usual, I was looking ravishing!

The party was already bubbling and everyone was having fun. Shade was all smiles.

I was busy with a plate of grilled meat when Dapo arrived. I was so into it that I didn’t notice he had been taking pictures of me chewing a mouthful of meat.

I was highly embarrassed when I finally knew what had happened.

“Hello Barbie, enjoying the meat?” he asked with a mocking grin on his face. I swallowed hard.

“Hi Dapo” I replied with a smile, standing up to give him a hug.

He was dressed in a red polo T-shirt, a short knickers and matching snickers. He looked completely dashing. I couldn’t help but stare at his lips. He caught my eyes on him and he winked.

 

***

The party was a blast. I was really tired and my neck was hurting. God knows, I nearly twisted my neck, made silly faces and replicated model like poses all in a bid to take perfect selfies with the celebrant.

It was late in the evening and almost everyone had left except for some of our neighbors and then Dapo. He stayed till the end of the party to keep my company. Thank God I hired a caterer; the whole place was a mess. Shade and I could not have cleaned it up in two weeks.

“I like your shorts” I complimented gesturing towards his khaki short.

I was slightly tipsy – and well, you know what happens when a girl is tipsy.

“I like your gown too”

“You look like a fairy!”

He picked his phone and asked if we could take a picture together. I gladly agreed.

The picture was beautiful and he joked about how my eyebrow looked like a Nike symbol.

At one point during our conversation he held my hand. His hands were warm and I wished he could hold me forever. Suddenly, he drew a bit closer and took my mouth in his (and there goes my kiss!). I was slightly shocked. I wasn’t expecting him to kiss me.

And as quick as he began, he pulled away and mouthed a silent “I am sorry; you are just too beautiful”.

Hian! Which kain I’m sorry? [What kind of sorry is that!?]

I replied by kissing him back. I had always wanted to do that. His lip was just as I had fantasized – soft, sweet and … (I kennat explain)

My hand was under his shirt in no time but we were interrupted when Shade cleared her throat loudly. We pulled away from each other. I could see the flush on his face.

“Sorry for interrupting” Shade teased.

“I just wanted to thank you for showing up Dapo”

“And Jumoke, thank you so much for this party”

“I feel so honored”.

I gave her a tight bear hug and Dapo took a picture of us.

Few minutes later he was in his car ready to go home.

“Take care of yourself Sweetheart”

“See you soon” he said his full blown baritone voice.

I gave him a wide smile and waved as he zoomed off.

I started missing him the moment he left.

“The guy is just a “potential customer”, don’t start catching feelings” I mused, trying to talk myself out of the idea that I was falling for him.

“Lover girl! When did you guys started dating?” Shade asked with a mischievous grin.

“Obashade! Please don’t start with me” I replied and headed straight into my room.

“No one is dating anyone” I added.

“Sha tell him to hook me up with one his friends Shade shouted after me.

I entered my room and crashed on my bed replaying the day’s event in my head. I was still in Disneyland fantasizing about how cute a couple I and Dapo will be when my phone rang.

Chief Ike was at it again.

 

***

Lexicon:

 

*sha – just

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Diary of a Jumoke: Episode VIII

This is the eight episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s Diary of a Jumoke. It is quite a short one. Read and let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

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I lay sprawled across the bed wearing only a bum short and an alter neck. Arianna was pulling my weave frantically in an effort to style my hair. It was painful, but I allowed her.

The little thing seems to be having fun. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the notification light on my BlackBerry was blinking. I picked it up and saw that a text message had come in.

In my mind I thought it was one of those “If you want to be happy, send 1 to 3205” messages MTN was always sending.

I opened it and saw that it was a credit alert. The amount I saw made me gasp for air. Someone had transferred a whooping sum of 1.5 million naira into my account.

I guessed that was why Mr Ibu (make that Chief Ike) had been calling me nonstop for some hours now. I allowed his calls to ring off the hook. I was not ready to let him engage me in one of his boring tales.

Really, that man can talk for Africa. He promised he would “furnish” my account and he actually “furnished” it to the fullest. He deserved an Oscar.

“Awwwhhhh! Arianna you are going to pull off my scalp. Oya please leave it. Its fine already” I pleaded.

She examined the hair and she seemed pleased with what she had done.

“Lemme go and bring grandma’s mirror” she said in her regular singsong voice and raced out of the room.

I decided to see the mess she left on my head as I fetched my makeup bag and removed a mirror. My reflection made me roar with laughter.

Even the witch of Oz doesn’t have a thing on me.

I had been very close to my daughter these few hours after Noka’s resurfacing from God-knows-where. When I saw him earlier, I felt thousands of unexplainable emotions rushing through me.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it would bust open. All this while and I still felt that way for him. I was furious though. I would rather die than allow him back or even allow him touch my child.

My mother instincts had been resurrected.

I was having a strong urge to go clubbing to get his selfish ass off my mind. No sob stories abeg. Hitting Club 44 was the first item on my to do list.

And come to think about it, I had been considering letting Chief Ike into the honeypot too. That was the best way I could appreciate him for his kind “furnishing” gesture.

And there was Dapo again,

“I really still wanna kiss him” I thought with a mischievous smile on my face.

 

***

“Is she asleep?” I whispered silently.

Arianna had been tailing me since forever and I had to wait until she fell asleep before leaving.

I was sure she would cry her eyes out when she wakes up and discovers that I had left.

“Jumoke wa joko” [Jumoke, have a seat]

“We need to talk about something before you leave” my Mum said.

I sighed loudly. This was one of those reasons why I always shy away from visiting her. Her long talks about life and all could squeeze life out of a living person.

I had no choice this time or else I won’t hear the end of the matter.

“That guy I saw with you the other day…. I didn’t allow her to finish, I knew where the whole issue was going.

“Mummy, Dapo and I barely know each other”

“Please don’t start this marriage talk. Please I interrupted.

I knew my mum; she would never back down. She pretended as if she didn’t hear what I just said and continued.

It doesn’t matter oko mi.”[my dear]

“You people can start from somewhere”

“I can see he is a nice and cultured boy” she continued.

“Okay Mum, I heard you”

I had to agree with her if I wanted the matter to be laid to rest.

And just when I was thinking I had gotten off the hook, she dropped the bombshell.

“I think you should forgive Noka”

“He realized his mistake and came begging”.

I have had enough!

I stood up, picked my bag and gestured that I was ready to go.

Before she could think of composing another speech on how I was supposed to be a responsible woman, I dashed out towards my car and I entered with the speed of light.

“I’ll call you when I get home” I said and zoomed off without waiting for her to reply.

 

*********

“Who is this person that parked in my spot” I yelled angrily to no one in particular.

I arrived at my house and helped myself with the gate only to discover that a black Camry was in my spot and there was no more parking spaces in the compound. I had to leave my car outside.

I rang the doorbell and Shade answered it, only for me to enter the house and find her witch friend Tega sitting on the couch as if she owed the house.

Sitting beside her was Sam, Freddy’s Latino son. The bit*h had brought the child to spite me.

I mouthed an unfriendly hi to her and she reciprocated my unfriendliness by keeping mute.

I’m still gonna bitch slap that silly brat one day.

I dropped my bag and pretended as if I didn’t see the boy.

“Shade, is there food in this house?”

“I am starving” I asked with a yawn.

“Yes babe, check the microwave” she answered.

Without wasting time, I walked briskly to the kitchen to fetch my food.

“Sam really looks like Freddy”

“They have the same nose” Tega said loud enough for me to hear.

“This girl is really foolish” I said to myself.

“His skin is nice too”

 “I hope he doesn’t follow your footstep and bleach in future” I chipped in.

The words hit her like a brick. Bit*h wasn’t expecting it. I gave her an obvious side eye, picked my bag and went straight into my room.

Few minutes later I was dressed in a jumpsuit, ready to hit Club 44. I couldn’t stand the presence of the silly girl for one more minute. She should better be gone when I come back.

 

******

Rukky was in a middle of a lap dance when I got to the club. If I was the man she was entertaining I would be praying fervently that one of her bones should not detach and drill a hole on my face.

I saw a couple of friends and I sat with them, a bottle of booze in hand. I was planning to get high.

I had been dancing for a while and then decided to take a break when I noticed someone was standing behind me.

I turned and there was Noka!!!

There goes my new stalker.

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode VII

 

This is the seventh episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s Diary of a Jumoke. b9565334-2a5d-4d71-9f13-c7c36d94dd7e

“Musa,where your Oga?” I inquired.

I was at Freddy’s house. I had called him but he refused to pick up. Even his gate man doesn’t seem to know his whereabouts and the silly guy had been calling me all this while. Now that I needed his help, he was nowhere to be found.

The guy’s sugar daddy game was just decreasing bit by bit.

“E be like say Oga Fred talk say him won go pick madam” his gate man said.

“Madam keh? Who is madam?” I asked a bit confused.

Instead of answering, the gate man just shrugged.

I walked towards his front porch. Even if he had gone to the moon, I was going to sit and wait for him.

The previous day had been a hit actually. Mike made reservations at a Chinese restaurant around town and he made sure we ordered almost all the dishes available. It seems he had planned to stuff me with food. We started with the sweet and sour pork and switched to the Gong Bao chicken and then the Mapu tofu to the Wontons.

I couldn’t even pronounce the name of most of the dishes.

By the time we finished eating, I was feeling as if I had swallowed a whale.

That didn’t stop me from showing my gratitude for the gift he had sent to me though. I pounced on him like a tiger the instant we got into his apartment. Dude wasn’t expecting the move.

I undressed him like a pro, blindfolded him and tied his hands to the bed post. Oga Spartacus was chanting “Ohhhhlaaahlahhh” all through the show down. I showed him the real definition of freaky.

I won’t be here waiting for Freddy if not for the call I received from my mother. She called to inform me of her plan to leave with Arianna later in the evening.

I was surprised when she didn’t ask where I was. Shade must have covered me up. That girl was bae.

I was feeling a bit bad because they were leaving so soon. I could not even spend quality time with my daughter and now that I don’t have a car, how was I supposed to take them back home?

Making them take public transport was not even an option. For that reason, I decided to see Freddy. I wanted my car back already.

I had been sitting in his porch for like two straight hours and just when I was thinking he was never going to show up, his red SUV pulled into the compound.

I didn’t see the woman with him until the car moved closer. Freddy sighted me and I saw the shock that was spreading all over his face.

“What is wrong with this one?” I thought.

The lady with him looked like she was in her late thirties. She was tall, thin and had a model like frame.

She could have passed for Rukky. They were both really thin, except that she was more beautiful. Her cheek bone was on fleek.

And I should also mention that she was a “Latino”.

“This must be the madam Musa was referring to I thought.

A small boy about seven years old was also with the pair. He had Freddy’s face written all over him.

Even before being told, I did the math. The Latino must be Freddy’s wife and the Mini-Latino [Half-caste],his son.

To be honest, I didn’t care one bit. I was just his sugar baby after all. All I wanted was my freaking car.

“Hello Jumoke” he said in a shaky voice as he neared me.

The fool just called me Jumoke! What happened to all those pet names?

Oh I forgot, anty-fresh-Puna-Latino was around. Alaye had to act like a gentleman.

Next thing I knew he faced the Lady and said “Neesha, meet my cousin”

“Jumoke, this is Neesha, my wife”

“And Sam my little simba

 Mayweather’s hammer blow could not have flattened me out like his statement just did. I flashed a cute smile at the lady and she smiled back.

“I’ve been shagging your husband, sister” I thought.

This guy is funny sha. What’s my own with your wife abi the Mufasa son you have?

I was highly irritated.

“Freddy, I need to pick up my car”

“Can you hand over the key” I demanded.

He flashed me a smile full of gratitude. It seemed he wasn’t expecting the calm way I handled the situation. He called Musa to pack some luggage into the house while he led his wife and son in and I waited impatiently outside.

He was back in no time with the key to the Range. He handed the key over to me and to my surprise he also added a cheque of five hundred thousand naira.

I collected the cheque and smiled. I covered the distance between us and gave him a passionate kiss.

“You are not getting off that easily” I said and walked towards the garage to pick my car.

I was actually hoping his wife would catch a view of the kiss.

***

I was home in time to pick up my mum and Ariana. Mike would not be needing my company for a while so I was going to sleep over at my mum’s and then come back home the following day.

I was hoping to spend more time with my daughter. The poor thing doesn’t even know me well enough.

It was late when we arrived at my mum’s and I was too tired to even eat. I just took my bath, engaged my daughter in a conversation for a while and before I knew what was happening I had fallen asleep.

Arianna’s gentle tap was what woke me up the following day.

“Mum, grandma said you should comeshe said in a singsong voice.

I rubbed my eyes sleepily, gave her a kiss on the forehead and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I was hearing voices. It seemed some people were in the house.

“Who could be visiting so early in the morning” I thought as I picked my bathrobe and wore it over my pajamas.

I stepped into the living room and I went into a trance. Standing there was Noka and an elderly lady who I presumed was his mum. I was stunned into silence.

After leaving me for six years he just appeared out of nowhere. Am I supposed to run into his waiting hands or what?

I couldn’t move, so I just stood there looking like a dummy. He moved closer to where I was, with an apologetic look on his face.

He tried to touch me. That was when my anger surfaced.

Without thinking I gave him an epic slap and the look on his face was priceless. I was not satisfied so I gave him another resounding one. I felt so pissed that I wished I could knock out his jaw.

Not knowing what else to do, I turned back and made for my room. Arianna was standing right behind me with a white face. I could swear she was terrified. The little thing had just watched me delivered two hot slaps in quick succession to a guy whom she would soon find out was her Dad.

I carried her, wrapped my hands around her with this “if them born you well, come touch am” [if you’ve got the guts, come for her] face and bolted into my room.

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode VI

This is the 6th Episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s “Diary of a Jumoke”. This episode is a quick read. Read and let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

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The look on Shade’s face was priceless when she entered the living room and found Dapo Badejo sitting right there. She had been sleeping when I arrived.

After staring at him for what seems like ages at the door, I finally invited him in and he was sitting comfortably on my favorite couch. I wanted to ask him like a million questions. One of which was how he got to know where I was living. Noka’s issue was laid to rest for a while as the anger I was feeling earlier had dissolved into something I couldn’t understand.

“Dapo, this is my mumI introduced.

I was actually expecting him to do a casual “Good Morning Ma”

But to my surprise, he dropped his phone and did a full Yoruba greeting by prostrating. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Ekaaro Mummy” [Good morning ma] he greeted.

Kaaro oko mi” [Morning my dear] my mum replied with a wide smile and a face that showed she was making up funny ideas.

“I hope she won’t start one of her long marriage lectures later” I thought.

“Jumoke, I’ll be in the room” Mum said and left, giving me and Dapo privacy.

“Erm, how did you locate me” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

“I have a friend living close by”

“And I was visiting”

“I was on my way out when I saw you”

“You were still wearing the same cloth from yesterday, so it wasn’t so hard recognizing you” he pointed with a mischievous grin.

I shifted on my seat. His remark about me still wearing the cloth from yesterday made me slightly uncomfortable. I studied his face from the corner of my eyes. He had a plump round face and I couldn’t help but notice his pink lips. I was fighting the urge to grab and kiss it.

We chatted for a while after he caught me staring at him and I covered up my embarrassment by offering him a glass of fruit juice.

He was fun to talk with and we chatted as though we’ve been friends for a very long time.

“I think I should be on my way now” he said out of the blues.

“I have to be in Abuja by noon” he added.

I gave a curtly nod and smiled nervously. His presence was somehow giving me goose bumps. I didn’t know if it was because of the fact that he was a celebrity or because I was crushing head over heels on him.

I followed him all the way to the gate like a lost puppy.

“What on earth is wrong with you Adejumoke!” I asked myself silently and gave myself a mild knock.

I was really acting out around this guy.

He asked if we could exchange contacts and I gave him my phone number while he did the same.

“See you soon Barbie” he said jovially as he brought his car engine to life and zoomed off.

I found myself fantasizing on how to nail him the next time we meet. His cute pink lip was just too sexy to ignore.

***

The loud buzz of my phone woke me up. I had crashed in Shade’s room immediately Dapo left. I picked the phone to check who was calling but I couldn’t recognize the number. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and I was about to continue my peaceful sleep when the phone rang again.

“Hi, who goes there??” I said into the phone, slightly irritated.

I really hated being disturbed when I sleep.

“Omalicha my pretty baby”

“How are you dear?” the caller asked.

I was lost for a while.

“Who is this alien calling my phone?” I thought.

Then my brain booted and I picked the Igbo accent. I had totally forgotten about this gaped tooth man. Chief Ike or whatever his name was.

But wait, I didn’t remember giving him my contact.

“Hello Chief, good afternoon”

“I hope you are okay?” I asked.

Few seconds passed without him saying a word, he seemed to be struggling with what to say.

“Biko, Ada send me your account number, let me furnish it” he said finally.

I busted out in laughter. Did he just say he wanted to furnish my account??

Is that even English at all??

“I want to make you happy baby” he added.

“I’ll send it very soon Chief. Thanks for the kind gesture”.

“You are always welcomed Omalicha

“Biko keep that face smiling” he replied and the line went dead.

This man should stop calling me these silly Igbo names abegi. I thought I told him my name. If he wanted to furnish my whole life I’ll let him. It is not kuku my money.

Meanwhile, Freddy had been calling me ever since. It seemed he was craving for a delicacy from the honey pot; nothing good comes easy though. I won’t just throw myself at him like a cheap girl. He would have to beg me with something big. A new car would do or maybe a trip out of the country. I yawned lazily and sat up in bed. Mr Ibu or was it Chief Ike had disturbed my journey to dreamland.

I was about stepping into the kitchen when I heard the doorbell.

I walked lazily towards the door and answered it before the bell rang the second time. Standing at the door was Mike’s chauffeur and a lady who I couldn’t recognize.

She was holding the most beautiful evening gown I had ever seen in my life.

“Good day madam. Oga talk say make we deliver this gown to you

Him also talk say make you get ready by 6pm”

“I go come carry you” he said.

I couldn’t help but admire his Warri inspired Pidgin.

“Dude must be from the creeks” I thought while I gestured to the lady to hand over the gown.

I had to think of a way to steal out of the house without my mum’s knowledge. I don’t want her asking questions about where I was going.

 

***

Lexicon:
*abegi – please

*kuku – none

*Omalicha – sweetheart

*Oga – boss

 

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode V

Thank God it is Saturday. I love the Lagos weather today. So sunny and nice. So here is a lovely post to go with the lovely weather. This is the 5th Episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s “Diary of a Jumoke”. Read and let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

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*Five Years Ago*

“Babe I really miss you and I want you so bad”

“Noka I miss you too. But I really need to talk to you. I answered in a very tired voice.

I had been feeling funny for the past one week. I wake up almost every day with a dizzy spell. That morning I had decided to confirm my fears by having a urine test.

The result I got threw me off balance. I discovered that I was pregnant. My mind was in deep turmoil.

What was I going to do?

I was so confused that I called my boyfriend Noka to tell him that I was pregnant. But when he picked the call and I heard his fruity voice at the other end of the phone, the words got stuck in my mouth.

All I could manage to tell him was that we needed to talk very urgently. He agreed and promised to pay me a visit the following weekend.

Noka was a guy I met when I traveled to Abuja to visit an uncle. He was in his mid-twenties and a bit older than I was. He was handsome, light skinned, with a tawny physique and an impressive athletic feature.

We met at the cinema, started talking and we ended up making love on our second date. Since then we had been sweethearts. I fell madly in love with him.

We met during his NYSC and he was stationed at Abuja. He didn’t go into much detail about his life, but he told me that his father was an Urhobo man and his mother an American.

He said they both live outside the country but they come to Nigeria occasionally. He also told me that he was likely to travel out of the country too, after his youth service. He had promised heaven and earth and I was so gullible then that I believed he was my knight in shining armor.

As he had promised, he arrived in my school that weekend. We had fun, went to the pool to swim and we ended up lodging at a hotel later that night.

I was still a bit scared. I didn’t know how to relate the news to him. So we had slept that night with me holding the news till the next day.

We had an early breakfast the following morning because he was leaving as early as possible.

I couldn’t eat.

The rice we had ordered smelled like raw egg and all I wanted to do was throw up. He noticed my clumsiness but I told him I was feeling a bit feverish.

He was all set to go and he drew me up from where I was sitting and enveloped me in a tight hug while he planted wet kisses on my face.

“I’ll miss you sugar bush he had said in a modulated voice.

I knew I had to tell him now or I’ll never be able to tell him again.

“Noka, I have something to tell you”

“I am pregnant” I finally said in a quivering voice.

The smile on his face disappeared.

“Jummy, you are what?” he had asked in a very worried tone.

At that moment, I wished the ground would open and swallow me up.

“How? When?” He asked.

“What are you going to do about it?”

I couldn’t believe my ears.

“I can’t abort it. I am scared” I answered.

He dropped my hand instantly.

“Jumoke, I don’t have time for this” he had said in a shrilled voice that sent shivers down my spine.

Before I could say more, he bolted out of the room, leaving me all by myself.

That was the last time I saw him – the last time I heard from him. He had walked away from my life, leaving me to bear the burden myself.

My mother was devastated when she heard the news. We had both cried our eyes out. She expected more from me and I had disappointed her.

My Father died when I was just ten years old and since then she has been trying her possible best to give me a good education.

We were not rich, but she had always given me full financial support with her petty trade. I had dreams also. I had an ambition.

I was going to be an Economist; a very successful one. And I was so close to realizing that dream. I was in my 200L in school already. And now the pregnancy was threatening to shatter my dreams.

I had resolved to make the best out of my predicament. I was going to pull through no matter what it takes.

Few months after I gave birth to my baby, my mother’s shop was razed to the ground. Not a single thing remained.

Things began to fall apart. I had to man up and take up the responsibility of feeding myself, my mother and my 5 months old baby.

So in my 300L, I joined the clique of call girls in school. Don’t blame me, I had no other choice or else I’ll just drown in poverty.

Money began to roll in from all angles and by the time I was on my youth service, I had bought a house for my mother and my child.

The life I was leaving was tempting though so I had continued my “business” after university and stopping was the last thing on my mind. I had promised myself that I would be independent and I would never let any man take advantage of me again.

***

Present

I was still busy cuddling my daughter when my mother appeared from my room.

The shock on my face was evident.

“Maami e kaaro” [Mom, good morning] I greeted not knowing what else to say. I had not seen her and my daughter for the past 8 months.

She looked different, a bit older.

She walked towards the couch and answered my greeting with a nod. I knew I was in for trouble because she looked upset.

“Ma, why didn’t you call me before coming? I could have come over to pick you” I added knowing fully that last statement was a big lie. If she had called, I would have lied about being out of town or busy.

She sat on the couch without answering. I sensed something fishy was going on so I told Arianna to go inside my room.

Maami ki lo sele?” [Mom what happened?] I inquired.

“Why are you doing this to your daughter?”

“You left her all these past months without a single visit”

“What kind of mother are you!?” she thundered.

I felt a rush of emotions as she spoke and I was trying hard not to cry. I knew I had neglected my daughter, but I had my reasons. I was working my head off to give her a good life. I had been so busy.

“She was pulling tantrums”

“She wanted to see you badly”

“So I had no other choice but to bring her here”.

“And after what happened yesterday, she started asking questions”

I was alarmed.

“What happened?” I inquired in a worried tone.

My mum sighted heavily and shifted on her sit.

“Adejumoke…”

 Wait! She just called my name in full. Whenever she does that some serious banters was about to follow.

My heart skipped a million beats.

“Noka came looking for you” she said finally.

I felt like punching someone.

“Noka did what?”

“How did he find me?”

“What does he want?” I asked angrily.

I was pacing up and down now.

“He just appeared with his oyinbo mother”

“I asked who he was and he introduced himself as Noka” she continued.

“He prostrated and was begging me with tears”.

“Your daughter witnessed the whole thing”

“She has not allowed me a moment of peace since then”.

I was in another world already – the world where I was planning a million ways to kill Noka if I ever lay my eyes on him. I was not going to allow that beast get close to my daughter. She’s mine and mine alone.

The doorbell jolted me out of my thought.

“Who the hell is that?” I blurted out angrily.

I dashed toward the door as if to give the person there a beating of his/her life. I could really be over dramatic when I was angry

I pulled the door opened and I was transfixed.

“Please kill me already” I thought.

Today is really going to be a long day.

“Good morning Jumoke” he said in his regular baritone voice.

“Hi” was the only thing I could manage to say.

Dapo Badejo was standing in front of me life and direct. I must be dreaming.

 

***

Lexicon:

*NYSC – An acronym for National Youth Service Corps

 

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode IV

This is the 4th Episode of Abdulwahab Olajumoke’s “Diary of a Jumoke”. I am sorry for the belated post. It should have been published yesterday. Kindly read and let me know what you make of this episode in the comment section below. You can read Episode 1 here, Episode 2 here and Episode 3 here.b9565334-2a5d-4d71-9f13-c7c36d94dd7e

Soft bed, a lilac duvet and a man with traces of grey hair on his head was the first sight I took in when I opened my eyes.

At first, I couldn’t remember where I was but when my eyes fell on the scattered furniture in the room and my bra which was hanging on the door knob, the memory of the previous night came flooding back.

I had left Club 44 with Dr Bassey after he led me to his Limousine and ordered one of the most expensive champagne. I had giving him a very exquisite lap dance and by the time I was through, I discovered he was as hard as a rock.

He told the driver to take us to the hotel where he was staying and on our way I had added to the fun by giving him a blowjob he would not forget in a decade. He came in my mouth like a tsunami and I could see the pleasant shock in his eyes. Dude has never experienced anything like that ever in his life. I was proud of myself and my skills.

Never did I know that he was still caging his killer sex spirit. I was going to get the surprise of my life later that night.

We entered his suite and he called room service to bring us our meal. I had ordered almost half of the food on the menu,i was starving already. He had also ordered a plate of wheat meal.

He was engaged in some series of phone calls to his business partners while I chosed to freshen up. The food was ready by the time I entered the room wearing nothing but my bra and thongs.

I could see the greedy look in his eyes as he took in my body.

“You have a nice body.” he had commented and I replied with a thank you and placed a kiss on his lips. I could feel the alcohol in my system. I was slightly tipsy from the champagne I had taken earlier. I wanted him to do things to my body already, but first I needed to eat.

Everything about this man displayed elegance, even the way he eats. I was impressed as I watched him transport his meal with easy strides from the plate to his mouth. He caught me staring and he smiled.

“Please eat your food dear.” he added in perfectly accented English.

We were through with eating within few minutes and he excused himself. He said he needed to take his bath. I got on the soft bed and picked my phone. I had loads of unread instant messages.

My mentions on Twitter were the highest. Hian! What is it with Twitter Nigeria and silly banters? If I had known, I wouldn’t have joined this Linda Ikeji and Wizkid’s fight. Everybody is trying to seek attention in their own ways. I don’t have time for that biko. Everyone knows I hate Wizkid though.

I was so engrossed with my phone that I did not notice when Dr Bassey entered the room. I was lying on my tummy and I guessed the sight of my bum must have turned him on.

The way he grabbed my booty from behind made me shiver with pleasure; before I knew what was happening he had torn my thongs off with the speed of light.

Pinning me to the bed, he trailed his hand through the inside of my thighs like a pro. Dammmmnn!!! The pleasure I felt was too much to describe.

The tickling sensation was tantalizing as he worked his hand in and out of my wet honeypot. Watching me with a masculine smile as my leg vibrated with each thrust, I was moaning as loud as my voice box could allow me.

If the occupant in the next apartment were listening I was sure they would have heard the Shiiiiit, ahhhh, ohhhh, yeah babyyy! I was screaming, urging him to do more.

When he saw that I was close to exploding. He guided me over to the chair and instantly I got down as low as my back could allow, giving him unrestricted access. He plunged into me with force like a plumber trying to dig a borehole.

I could swear that I felt his dick stretched from my honeypot into my throat. But again, I could just be exaggerating.

I was surprised by his length. I was not expecting to see that kind of “weapon of mass destruction” on a man of his age. I climaxed few minutes later and he did too.

I crashed on the bed immediately because all my strength had been drained by Oga Spartacus. I didn’t know when I slept off.

It seems he carried me from where I was because when I woke up, a pillow was propped under my head and a huge duvet covered my naked body.

I got out of bed to take my shower. When I came back, Dr Bassey was already awake.

“Good morning sunshine. I hope you slept well” he said.

“Good morning Doctor” I replied

“Please call me Mike” he added.

Then he told me he would be having a meeting very early that morning and that I was free to go home for a while. He also said his chauffer was waiting down stairs to take me any where I wanted to go.

Few minutes later, I was fully dressed and ready to go. Mike handed me fifty thousand naira in cash. I mouthed a quick thank you and hugged him before I left the room.

His chauffer was waiting as he had told me. The journey to my house didn’t take long. The SUV moved as swift as a bird.

I got down in front of the green gate leading to my compound and walked with gentle strides towards my flat.

I was still slightly tired and I needed to sleep.

I concluded that Shade was around because I could hear voices inside my flat. The door was opened and I let myself in, heading straight to my room.

“Mummmmmmmmy” I heard a tiny voice call out.

I turned around and I saw Arianna my daughter staring at me with her blue eyes.

“What the hell was she doing here?” I thought as I enveloped her tiny body in a bear hug and called out to Shade.

***

*biko – an Igbo word for please

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode 3

Hi, everyone.  This is the third episode of the new feature series, Diary of a Jumoke by Abdulwahab Olajumoke. Look out for Episode 4 next week Tuesday. Do give this a read and let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

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Rukky was touching up her make up when I got inside. The makeup and accessories didn’t help her situation; she was still looking like a starved person.

Does this girl eat at all? I asked myself as I approached her.

“Jumoke, which levels nah?”

“What’s all this? You were supposed to be here an hour ago!” she said, not giving me a chance to defend myself.

“I am really sorry. Something came up.” I replied.

“No qualms.”

“Let’s go to the dressing room, you need to change your clothes.” She added as she packed her makeup and headed upstairs toward the dressing room.

I was lost for a millisecond. What on earth was wrong with what I was wearing?

The micro mini gown I wore could buy half of her clothes. But as it is, she was the boss at the moment so I had to agree to every idea that came out of her twisted mind.

Few minutes later, we are in the VIP lounge with some top business men in the country. The man I am supposed to hang out with is a multi billionaire who owned the largest telecommunication company in the whole of West Africa.

Rukky had told me about him some weeks back; that he flew into the country about three weeks back and he would be needing a classy girl to keep him company while he was in the country.

Since he was not yet around, I decided to pick a seat in a corner of the lounge. I sat down cocktail in hand while I watched one of the strippers do a pole dance in the middle of the room.

I was still sitting there when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turned around and found this potbellied man smiling at me with an awkward gap tooth. I felt my stomach turned. I silently prayed that was not the person I had been there waiting for.

How was I supposed to endure his clumsy face for two good weeks?

“Omalicha, I am Chief Ogbonna Ike.

“I have been watching you from afar off for quite long.”

“Why are you here sitting all by yourself?” he said with the thickest Igbo accent I have ever heard in my entire life.

My jaws almost dropped. Like we are in the 24th century; do people still talk with Igbo accents?

I heaved a sigh of relieve when I discovered he was not the one I had been waiting for. I gave him a forced smile and decided to string him and see what he could offer. There was no crime in killing two birds with a stone after all.

“My name is Jumoke.” I said extending my hand for a handshake.

But instead of shaking me, he took my hand and gave me a rather unnecessary kiss. I was seriously praying for him not to dribble on my hand.

The width of his gap tooth was really too much to take in. I shifted uneasily in my chair while I fought the urge of snatching my hand from him.

Finally he let go of my hand and sat on the chair next to me.

“This man will crack this chair today!I thought as the little chair creaked under his weight.

“Adaobi, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? he said.

His thick accent was all I could hear. It was like he was speaking in a strange tongue. And it took me some minutes before I could decipher his sentence.

When I finally did, I gave him a genuine smile.

By now I was feeling uneasy. Where the heck was this man I was supposed to meet? Or was Rukky playing games with me?

I really hope that was not the case because I was going to show her madness in 4D if I find out that she had been wasting my time.

And this Chief Ike, or whatever his name was, will not stop engaging me in all kinds of stupid talks.

I mean what was my business with the fact that his eldest son was gay, and he had been trying to fix him up with a woman.

Why was he telling me this?

It was not as if it would put food on my table or add to the money in my account… or even buy me a car.

My mind did a quick flash back to the fact that I had abandoned my Range Rover.

“I really needed a new car ASAP.” I thought.

The man invited me over to his house the next weekend and I agreed in a bid to get rid of him. But he just won’t stop. The good news was that he was super rich. I had not wasted my time after all. His money would do for a while.

My phone vibrated, someone pinged me.

I was super glad that the message was from Rukky.

“Meet me in the parking lot.” her message read.

I was finally going to escape from this talkative of a man. My eardrums would be left at peace for a while.

I told him I was leaving and I promised to honor his invitation as I hurried out of the VIP lounge.

Rukky was standing with a man when I got there. Judging by his looks, he should be in his mid-fifties. He had a mustache that looked as if it was going fall off anytime soon.

His face displayed wealth and a bit of elegance.

“And this is what I’m talking about.” I said to myself.         

“Dr Bassey, this is Jumoke.” Rukky said as I walked towards them.

Once again my Beyonce inspired smile rose from the dead and my accent came out with full force.

“Hi Doctor.” I mouthed.

He smiled revealing a set of white teeth.

“I’ll see you later Rukky.” he said, indirectly telling her that her presence was no longer needed.

 “Now let’s get things started, shall we?” he added.

He extended his hand and gestured for me to move closer.

***

Abdulwahab Olajumoke is a Mathematics and Statistics student from The Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro who just concluded her National Diploma Program. Her interest lies in reading articles and novels of all kinds which has in turn prompted her to keep pursuing her career in writing.

 

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode 2

Hi, everyone.  This is the second episode of the new feature series, Diary of a Jumoke by Abdulwahab Olajumoke. Look out for Episode 3 next week Tuesday. Do give this a read and let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

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Three Months Earlier

I met Freddy at a beach party organized by my flat mate’s friend. Actually I hated the girl somehow. She always acted superior, like she owned the entire universe. She was not even as pretty as I am.

Shade my flat mate had convinced me that the party was going to be fun. Besides I could meet a lot of rich guys there. Meeting rich guys was what got me to agree to come. I won’t be so stupid to pass a chance of swimming in a pool full of wealthy fishes because of one stupid girl who had bleached every part of her body, including her brain.

We were half way into the party when he arrived. He was tall and muscular and I would have mistaken him for Vin Diesel if not for his dark skin tone.

I had been watching his every move since he arrived and I noticed the way the muscle in his back moved elegantly when he walked.

“His name is Freddy. He is Tega’s cousin.” Shade whispered to my ear when she saw how I was gawking at him.

Tega was the name of her friend who was having the beach party; the one that I disliked.

Not that I was a fan of muscular guys but then this Freddy guy was Tega’s cousin. That meant only one thing; he was definitely going to be rich.

Without wasting time, I stood up from where I was sitting and walked towards him flaunting my killer bikini body as I walked. Many eyes were on me, or should I say many eyes were on my booty.

Yes, I was aware that any guy would drop dead to touch my booty but this time I was not in for any kind of stupid hookups not when I had a candidate in mind.

“Can I have a seat?” I asked with a perfected British accent.

Anybody would have thought I was born and bred outside the country.

As Shade would put it, my packaging game was hyper tight.

He looked up from his phone and I could swear his eyes were squarely on my cleavage.

The sharp girl that I was, I tilted my body to an angle closer to his face giving him a full view of my assets. Instantly, he gestured to an empty sit beside him.

“Have a sit babe.” he mouthed as his eyes surveyed my drop dead physique.

He seemed to be pleased with what he saw.

I could see the loathing look Tega gave me when she saw that I was with her cousin. I cared less though. I was going all the way down with this one.

We talked for quite a while and all through I had worn my Victoria secret model look.

During our conversation, I learned that he was an only child and the sole heir to his father’s fortune. That piece of information inspired me more to stay in the quest.

After a while, he told me he wanted to be on his way home.

Seriously?

I was not going to allow him leave without giving him a delicacy from the honey pot. He was too valuable not to have a taste.

I stood up and pulled on his hand seductively, pressing my booty against him intentionally. I told him I wanted to see his car and he seemed to have gotten the message.

Five minutes later, we were inside his car tearing at each other like angry birds.

Damnnnn!!!

The dude was a perfectionist. He knew how to do his thing and I was impressed.

The fact was that he had gotten deep into the honey pot and he was sure going to come back for more. So we became a regular. He was a bit older than i was but not old enough to be called a sugar daddy.

On my last birthday, he had gifted me with a Range Rover. I was slightly annoyed though. I had actually thought he would buy me a new car instead of him giving me the one he had been using before.

But as the saying goes half bread is better than none. I had accepted the car in good faith.

Freddy on the other hand is a hard core womanizer. He kept women of all shapes and sizes. I won’t blame him, he’s just too handsome not to womanize and besides, as far as I am concern, all guys are womanizers. Every single one of them.

I was in for the money though so he could sleep with every girl on the planet for all I care. As long as the money keeps rolling in, I’ll continue to be the best sugar baby he had ever met.

 

Present.

The cherry fragrance that greeted me as I entered the car made me remember my Mum’s room back home and I missed her for a split second.

It was his deep voice that jerked me back to reality.

“You seem to be in a hurry.”

“Where are you heading to?” he asked.

“Club 44,” I replied.

“Hope you don’t mind dropping me there?” I added.

This guy should just shut up and drive joor.

I didn’t have time for small talks. As it was, I had numerous missed calls on my phone already. Rukky had called me like a million times and then there was Freddy. The idiot had been calling me nonstop for the past five minutes. His womanizing sense should tell him to follow the directions I sent to him and pick his car.

His calls are just annoying me. I had planned to bounce back on him later but first I need to get to Club 44 as soon as possible.

The guy was saying something about the traffic but I was not listening. I was oblivious of my environment that I even forgot to finish my survey on him to determine if he was worthy of hanging on to.

I was relieved when he finally pulled over in front of the famous Club 44. I rushed through a thank you speech that I was barely conscious of.

My mind was elsewhere.

I alighted from the car and was about going when he stopped me and gave me his complimentary card.

The name I saw on the card squeezed the oxygen out of my lungs. My eyes instantly did a 360 in their sockets.

Dapo Badejo, the owner of Swanky Cloth line, had given me a lift but I was too occupied to even notice.

What on earth was I thinking?

Before I could get over my shock, he had zoomed off and I just stood there staring like a scarecrow.

I had caught a big fish without any effort.

Rukky’s call came in again making me sweep what had just happened to the back of my mind.

“First things first,” I thought.

I have business to handle and Dapo Badejo could wait a while.

 

*****

Lexicon:

*joor – a Yoruba word that indicates please

***

Abdulwahab Olajumoke is a Mathematics and Statistics student from The Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro who just concluded her National Diploma Program. Her interest lies in reading articles and novels of all kinds which has in turn prompted her to keep pursuing her career in writing.

Diary of a Jumoke: Episode 1

Hi, everyone. I am sorry this took longer to post than I thought. This is the first episode of the new feature series, Diary of a Jumoke by Abdulwahab Olajumoke. Look out for Episode 2 next week Tuesday. Happy holidays.

 

***

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I dialled his number and it rang for the second time in a row. Where the hell is Freddy and why was the mumu not picking my calls? I had been standing by the roadside for almost an hour. My Range Rover had broken down and I had no idea what had happened to the silly car. It had been working perfectly earlier today.

Gosh!!!

My leg had started to hurt due to the fact that I had been pacing up and down in my 5’’ tall Zanotti heels. Dialing Freddy’s number again, I opened the car, got inside and waited for the idiot to pick up. I was so going to give him a piece of my mind. I just hope he was not busy banging any cheap punani.

The call connected…

“Hello babe,” he said in a shaky voice, like he had been running a marathon. I was actually right; the idiot must have been banging a chick while I was here suffering.

“What on earth is wrong with you? I thundered. “You abandoned me here with this second hand car. You refused to pick my calls. Are you mad already?”

I was really boiling inside and when I’m angry I tend to over react. Freddy mouthed a quick reply into my ears and before I could say jack he ended the call with a “Babe I have to go. Send me your location and I’ll come pick you up.”

 What the hell just happened? Did that broke ass dude just ignore me?

 I was still thinking of a way to get out of the mess I got into when my eyes fell on my nails. What I saw fueled my anger. One of my neatly manicured nails had fallen off! This could not be happening! I spent two hours fixing those nails. I paid fifteen thousand naira for them. And in a bid to open the car’s bonnet when it broke down, one of my nails fell off. This is not happening.

I checked the time and it was past noon. I was really running late and I was sure Rukky would have my head if I did not get my ass down to Club 44 very soon. She was giving me an offer of a life time. I must not mess things up but again I was still stuck with this godforsaken car.

As if controlled by a higher power, I picked up my Gucci bag, my phones, dropped the car keys on one of the chairs, got out and banged the door after me. I would not let any car wreck my plans. The idiot would come and carry the yeye car himself. I was going to get someone to buy me a new one later.

Not minding the scorching sun, I elegantly stood like a queen beside the road, waiting for a “Mr Charming” who appreciates beauty to stop and pick me up.

Yes, I was beautiful! I knew it. I had everything a guy wanted in a lady – long legs, a contoured face, a banging booty… What else could a guy ask for?

I had everything I wanted at my beck and call. Money was not a problem; I changed cars like clothes. I flew in and out of the country whenever I wanted. I did not really have a fixed income or job. I had been “self-employed” ever since I graduated from the university two years ago.

As the saying went, I was using what I had to get what I wanted. I was a proud sugar baby. People talk but arrghhh! Money must be made and I had the perfect tools to use – my body actually. My area sister Rukky, would be connecting me with some real sugar daddies later in the day and I was not going to mess it up for anything.

Just when I thought my legs were finally going to crack, a Land Rover parked in front of me and I did a super Shoki inside me.

The driver rolled down his window.

“Can I help you sweetheart?” he asked in a baritone voice.

I did a quick survey of his face; dude looked cute and rich.

He looked like a potential “investor”.

“Yes please, I need a lift,” I answered flashing him a Rihanna-inspired smile.

***

LEXICON:

*mumu – A Nigerian slang used to describe a person who acts daft.

*punani – Jamaican slang for vagina.

*yeye – useless

*Shoki – a type of West African dance

***

Abdulwahab Olajumoke is a Mathematics and Statistics student from The Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro who just concluded her National Diploma Program. Her interest lies in reading articles and novels of all kinds which has in turn prompted her to keep pursuing her career in writing.

 

New Series Feature Alert: Diary of a Jumoke

 

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Hi, everyone. Here is the blurb for an upcoming series that will be featured on my blog. The series is written by Abdulwahab Olajumoke. I’ll be posting it every Tuesday. Make it a date.

***

Sexy, sweet Jumoke has it all. A nice body, sexy shape, and a butt that can set the world of the most upright man on fire. Coupled with her accent so flawless that she’s like a demi beauty goddess. She’s living her life to the fullest, easily nabbing any man of her choice with her looks.

But when she realizes she’s pregnant for the one man she detests for leaving her and Ariana her daughter, she must find a way to make sure he doesn’t use her and dump her the second time.

Will she ever end up with the man of her heart?

Will she be able to leave her work for a home?

Find out in the most exciting, most thrilling, most captivating Diary of a Jumoke.